Monday, April 30, 2012

Cheese Fondue

Yesterday we enjoyed a Fondue party with some friends. I remembered I had a recipe for a beer cheese soup that was too damned thick to be soup, but works great as a dippin' sauce.

It was a hit and I was asked to share the secret, so here it is for everyone!


  • 3/4 cup butter
  • 1/2 cup diced celery
  • 1/2 cup diced carrots
  • 1/2 cup diced onion
  • 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground dry mustard
  • 1 (14.5 ounce) can chicken broth
  • 5 ounces shredded Cheddar cheese
  • 5 ounces shredded Monterey Jack cheese
  • 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle beer


  1. In a large saucepan over medium high heat, melt butter. Cook celery, carrots and onion in butter until onion is translucent. Stir in flour and mustard to coat vegetables. Pour in chicken broth and simmer until slightly thickened. Puree mixture in a blender or food processor or using an immersion blender. Return to pot.
  2. When pureed mixture is hot, begin to stir in Cheddar, Monterey Jack and Parmesan, a little at a time, alternately with the beer, until all is fully incorporated and melted. Serve at once.
 I didn't blend the veggie mix, it's cooked down enough to be squishy and soft, so if you get some on your dippin' bread it's no big deal. It's one less step and less clean-up later. We transported the mix to the party, reheated it right in the fondue pot and added the cheese and beer then.  It fed 6 adults and 3 kids pretty well. 
Great with apples!

Friday, April 27, 2012

7 Days of Uncomfortable Snuggling

Anyone bother watching that 7 Days of Sex show on Lifetime last night?

We did, because we're suckers for awful television. And while the premise is decent, the execution was pretty terrible.

The premise (if you don't feel like clicking the link) is that couples that are having relationship problems pledge to have sex every day for a week straight. They figure that the forced intimacy will rekindle their relationship and revive their love.  I understand the idea behind this, of course. When you don't "do it" for more than a week or so you can get very crabby and grumpy and, after you have sex it kinda hits the reset button and you reconnect and makes everything better.

But here's the thing... when you know the effect having/not having sex can have on you, you don't let it go that long. These couples have grown so distant that they can't even remember the last time they made love or even wanted to. I've been in a relationship that got that bad, and there were bigger issues at hand than just not having sex. If me and my ex tried doing it for a week straight a) we never woulda made it for a whole week, b) yeah, after a week we would've felt connected and happy and all that, cuz that's what sex does, (endorphins and all). But 3 months later, when we haven't had sex in 6 weeks, we'd be back to square one. I'd love to see a "where are they now" for these folks.

Another issue I had with this show is the way these folks went about this undertaking. These people haven't had sex in how long and they try to jump right into it hardcore right out of the box. The one couple we saw last night tried experimenting with hot wax the first night. Why not start slow, idiots? Knock some dust off it first. Work out some of the kinks (no pun intended). You can't just run a marathon without doing some stretching. Then they move on to feathers and vibrators and crotchless body stockings. Either they really didn't have a problem to begin with, or they're really overcompensating.

I think a better idea would be to enlist a professional therapist to slowly up the intimacy/kinky levels while helping them deal with the surrounding issues that the weeks worth of loving inevitably brings up.  Have them start with just touching and kissing and reconnecting. Not the willy-nilly pouring of burning hot candle wax on everything.

Anyway, check it out if you wanna. You can laugh at their idiotic expense and shudder at the creep factor that comes from taping an average gross couple in the afterglow of scheduled lovemaking.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Pulled Pork, Take 1

Since Lulu's Mexican closed we've been in dire need of an excellent pulled pork recipe.
Being unemployed (have I mentioned that yet? No? I got laid off. Moving on.) I figured a good thing to do with my time is to try to make a reasonable replacement for it.
Here's the recipe for my first attempt. I got it from the Fix-It & Forget-It Cookbook.

3 lbs pork, cubed (I bought three 1lb packs of "pork" from Shoprite. No specific cut was given and I didn't ask. It was the cheapest way. Good color and marbling. Came out fine. Whew!)
2 cups chopped onions
3 green peppers, chopped
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup vinegar (I used apple cider vinegar, it's what I use in my taco mix)
6 oz can tomato paste
1 1/2 Tbsp. chili powder
1 tsp. dry mustard
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp. salt

Throw everything in a slow cooker on Hi for 8 hours. Mix it around now and again. After 8 hours, shred the pork that hasn't already fallen apart on it's own. Mix it around some more & serve.

This is a pretty good jumping off point, but I think it really needs some more Oomph. The flavor is good, just kinda flat. I'm thinking more vinegar? Maybe some molasses? Use smoked pork?
My wife cut through the hassle and suggested throwing in some store bought BBQ sauce towards the end. It'll make the liquidy sauce a bit thicker and add some smokiness and depth to it. So next time we'll try that.

If you try it at home and decide to tinker with the recipe please let me know how it turns out!! There's still work to do, people!