Wednesday, June 5, 2013

You just don't understand!

Many years ago (like 1982?) there was a channel called Nickelodeon that catered to kids. They had all the programming children enjoyed, including little random cartoons during commercial breaks or Pinwheel or who-knows-what. 
Well, one of these cartoons caught my little-boy's imagination and had such a profound effect that it transformed who I would become and everything I would love in music, art, life and love. 

And for 30 years I forgot about it. 

Until today. 

Today I was listening to my newest online radio discovery, ( and heard a violin lick that lead to an out-chorus that stopped me dead. 
"I...know this..? I'm picturing a singing frog..?"

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Exciting New Toy...

From the creators of Baby Alive comes the new Baby Alarm!
Every morning at exactly 6:45 you will be awakened by a subtle "ahhn, ahhn, ahhn" that will gradually crescendo into a full "WHAAAA WHAAA WHAAA!"
A built in Snooze can sometimes be activated with the use of the included "Nük" pacifier. Sometimes.
The Sleep mode is available through the application of an advanced diaper/bottle/Nük combination. (Sold separately) (Note: Sleep mode may last from 15 minutes to 2 hours. Results may vary)
Once activated, Baby Alarm will keep you alert and on your toes all day until night time when Extended Sleep can be used for up to 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep!
For added fun, why not purchase a second Baby Alarm for years of excitement and sleep deprivation!
Get your Baby Alarm today!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Gooble Gobble One Of Us!

So my wife has a lot of free computer time at her job.* Unlike me, she gets to sit at a desk and do work when it comes her way. I stand at a desk and scan heavy boxes all day.
She's gotten into a bunch of mommy/daddy blogs lately, and, like ya do, she's decided "I can do that!"
A few friends of ours have Tumblr blogs, which amazes me, because I always thought Tumblr was just for teen girls to share nude "selfies" and the reposting of porno .gifs.
So the whole family gathered around her laptop as my wife set about starting her Tumblr blog. She signed up, clicked on the requisite "Things I Like" links and was taken to her shiny new blog.
The page was full of car ads and .gifs of cars.
"How do I get rid of this?" she wailed.
"I don't know. Click a thing," was my helpful reply.
So she did.
And the screen was full of graphic close up animated penetration .gifs.
"Make it stop! Make it stop! What's happening?!? Ahhhh!!!"
I covered the 6-month-old's eyes.
My wife slammed her laptop shut.
"Let's see that again!" Chimed in my 3 year old.
"No, that's not for little kids."
"It's just for grown-ups?"
"It's not even for grown-ups."

So it turns out I was right. Tumblr is for porn.

Keep an eye out for my wife's upcoming blog here on Blogger.

*note: my wife's workplace goofing is embellished for comedic content. Please don't take me seriously.

Monday, February 18, 2013

One... Two... One...

*tap tap tap*

This thing on?

Test test

Johnny's in the basement mixin up the medicine,
I'm on the pavement, thinkin bout the government
Look out kid, it's somethin ya did...