Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Hey, NyQuil Driver

Having a 2 year old is like a fever dream you can't wake up from.

A man walks into a bar....

When I get a cold, I suffer through the coughing-sniffling-sneezing-aching-stuffy-head rather than put up with the dreams. NyQuil lets you sleep but it doesn't let you sleep.

A man... A man walks into.... 

It's just a light teasing sleep. No REM to be found, just that vague, "Was I sleeping? Have I slept?" kinda feeling. Seconds spread to hours. Phrases and snippets of songs repeat over and over.

A man walks into a bar... a man... a man walks into a bar... a man walks... the bartender says... a man... "hey, are you a piece of string?" a man...

You can try to change the course of your dream...

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state, til 40 million years ago expansion started... Wait!

The bartender says, "Are you... hey...."

But it never lasts for long.

Minutes spread to eons...

Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery....

But it's still only 10:30 and you just rolled over to try to sleep.

"Are you a piece of string?"

Now spend an hour in a car with a 2 year old who wants to hear Barbara Ann over and over and over. 

Bah bah bah bah bahbahran!

And then have her try to tell you a knock knock joke.

Knock-knock-who's-there? Icy!

You might as well Robodoze and at least not be responsible for deliberately driving into oncoming traffic.

...All started with a big bang! BANG!!


"No, I'm a frayed knot."

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