Monday, January 23, 2012

The Next Great Shut the Hell Up.

Somehow the latest offering from Buddy the New Jersey Baker ended up on my TV tonight. Four whiney-ass "bakers" were competing for who was the Next Greatest... whose title are they usurping? I have no idea.
So after, tough guy Buddy shows them how to make a dainty rose out of chocolate (he seemed to take a perverse pleasure in spreading the petals) they have 15 minutes to each make flowers that look exactly the same, but apparently he can discern enough difference in them to tell the old bald contestant that he sucks just a little less than the girl who didn't even finish.
Then we got introduced to a former Miss Teen New Jersey who wanted "a beautiful cake." Fueled by so many other cake competition shows, these idiots set out to make overly elaborate super-cakes by themselves in under 10 hours. Yeah. Cakes that take a team of four eight hours to complete these fools are gonna do solo in 10.
They start whoofing out saws and power drills and... aren't they bakers?!?
Make a goddamned tasty cookie or some scones and shut the hell up!!
Since when do bakers need to be engineers and architects. They don't have a team of art school kids like Duff does. The one girl's giving this whiny monologue about how she didn't care about high school and didn't go to college but she followed her baking dreams and now she's melting down on a baking competition show....
Ugh... go back to Panera or making donuts at Wegmans and get off my TV!

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